I have a list of topics which I want to blog about and I keep putting ‘dealing with change’ off because I never know what to say. So here goes.
Hi, my name is Mariam and I don’t deal with change very well! I like to know where I’m going what I’m doing and what I will be doing next. I like to have everything mapped out in lists and ideas. If this is not done I struggle, my anxiety kicks in and I feel constantly stressed. I would do everything I can to avoid uncertainty in my life.
There have been quite a few time times in my life where I have felt uncertainty, times where I didn’t have a clue what I am doing with my life. I think when you are at the end of a certain chapter in your life that’s when you feel uncertainty and the feelings of change hit you hard. In the past few years, months and weeks I have had a lot of change in my life and I may not have dealt with it really well but I think I did ok. It’s ok to not know what’s happening and it’s ok to feel lost for a bit you are going to find your way again. Feeling lost means, something better is waiting for you. There are a few things that have occurred to me about dealing with change and I want to share these with you:
- Learn to differentiate between what you can and can’t control.
The most important lesson that I have learnt over the past few years is, to differentiate between what I can and can not control. We need to learn to accept that there are some things in life we can not control and are out of our hands. If you are sat worrying about something you can’t control, take a few minutes to examine the things you do have control over. You may not be able to prevent some things from happening, but you can prepare for it.
- Take care of yourself!
Make sure you take care of yourself your basic needs, your mental health is just as important as your physical health. It’s ok to ask for help, be gentle with yourself. Talk to others who are going through a similar experience, share experiences. I think talking to other people made me realise that I am not alone. Take a little time out everyday to enjoy yourself or relax. Have a routine, if I don’t go for a morning run I feel out of place all day. Make sure you prioritise your basic needs, these will help when dealing with change.
- Keep a diary or a journal
Keeping a diary to document your changes and experiences helps a lot, this has been so helpful for me. It helped me realise that the experiences I turned down was due to fear and being scared that I might not be able to ‘cope’ and wasn’t able to do it. Writing your feelings down on paper is a step in the direction of coping with change. Writing down in a journal or diary is a safe place to express yourself.
Someone once said to me ‘If you want something go for it, don’t wait because you are to scared. Your fear might hold you back from the best thing you could ever have!’. I’m not saying that you will wake up tomorrow morning and be ready to face every single change that comes into your life. It takes time and that it OK!