You are not defined by your pain

Dear Friend,

I know what it feels like. I know what it feels like to feel empty, to feel lonely, to feel lost. I know that it has been long. You have survived so much. You have changed so much. You entered this year with uncertainty. You’ve cried again and again. You’ve sat and cried in a therapist’s office, you’ve cried in a doctor’s office and you’ve cried alone on your bedroom floor.

Sometimes, we become so broke that our pain is the first thing that people notice, we wear our pain on our faces for everyone to see. Sometimes, we forget who we really are.

The pain you are in today although it may feel like it will last forever. It is not here to stay. I think it’s so important to remember the truth about pain. It doesn’t define who you are. You are not your illness, you are not your failures and you are not the amount of times you have fallen. You are so much more.

Through your pain, you have grown so much, you have changed so much. But, you have also learnt so much. You’ve learnt to be honest, you’ve learnt to ask for help when you need it. You’ve learnt a lot about yourself. You’ve learnt that it’s okay to not be okay. You’ve learnt how important and sacred life is. You’ve learnt that people will leave you, some won’t support you. But, they don’t define you. What does define you is how you react to their absence.

You are not defined by your pain. But, the way you stood back up when you were pushed right down. You are defined by how strong you are, you are defined by your strength to never giving up, when you had every reason too. You are a survivor. Every day you are growing stronger and stronger. I’m so proud of you.

The pain you are going through today will one day be just a memory.

I want you to always remember, that It’s okay to be in pain, it’s okay to cry sometimes, it’s okay to ask for help. Don’t ever be ashamed of this. You pain doesn’t define you. You have survived a hard couple of months but, look at you, you survived, you were brave, and you were strong.

Pain is a part of life, it’s a part of being human. Pain is unavoidable. If you do not feel pain, you are not truly living. Sometimes, as much as we try to be strong, try to hold our heads up high, try to build ourselves up. We will fall down time to time. There will be days where we struggle to find ourselves and our purpose. And sometimes that’s okay.

Mariam x

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