You are supposed to feel incomplete in your twenties.


“Nothing will ruin your twenties more than thinking you need to have your life together already.” – Anonymous

I think we go into our twenties with these big plans of what we want to do and achieve in this great ‘decade’ of our lives. But, then we quickly come to realise that reality doesn’t quite match up to our expectations. Reality sure as hell hit me after I graduated when I realised that the path to where I wanted to be wasn’t going to be as straightforward as I thought.

I think that society puts a lot of pressure on us, we are brainwashed to believe that in order to be happy, we need to have a good job after we graduate. That in our twenties we need to have found our ‘forever person’ and we need to be engaged or even married. And that we should have life ‘figured out’ in our twenties. I’m sorry, but I really don’t understand that term ‘figured out’. Does anyone really ever have it figured out?.

You will ruin your twenties by thinking that you need to quickly have your life together. You need to be married because its ‘normal’ for someone in their twenties. Yes, you will ruin your twenties by thinking that you are behind in life because everyone you know on social media seems to have their lives figured out. Yet, here you are feeling more and more lost and confused.

Yes, you will ruin your twenties if you start to rush your life. If you jump into a job you hate, jump into a relationship before you have even figured out yourself. You have the rest of your life to settle down. You don’t have to do it now. There is still time.

Yes, you will ruin your twenties if you spend your time focusing on finding your forever person. Instead of pursuing your goals and your dreams. Stop letting the thought of ‘settling down’ occupy your mind.

Yes, you will ruin your twenties by constantly thinking that you have failed, because you haven’t got your life together and everyone you went to high school with seems to already have it together. What did you do wrong? 

I know what it feels like to be 23 and lost. And I sure as hell know that it’s the worst place on earth. But, the truth is, you are supposed to feel lost and confused in your twenties. You are not supposed to have it all figured out. Life is damn too short to rush.

It’s okay if you are in your twenties and still living with your parents. You are no less than those friends who are settling down with their life and found their forever person. And that sure as hell doesn’t mean that you are behind. Their timeline is just different to yours. Your twenties are a decade of self-growth. A decade of figuring yourself out, who you are and what you want from this incredible world. You are supposed to be growing and becoming the best version of yourself every day.

I am slowly coming to learn that I am supposed to be lost in my twenties. I am slowly learning that my timeline can be rewritten. You see, I’m a planner and I had these great big plans and expectations for my life for when I graduated. I had my life planned out in lists and ideas. I may not have reached many goals that I wanted too. But, I’ve learnt that plans can change. Passions and goals can change. And I’m learning to embrace that. I have no idea where my road is taking me. I can only hope that it is a successful one.

Instead of worrying over the future, I am learning to embrace the world that I have created for myself. I’m learning to be proud of myself and celebrate every little achievement. I am trying to become the best version of myself.

I think we all need to remember that everyone lives their life in their own time-zone and their own timeline. And we should never EVER compare ourselves to them. And I think that the sooner we realise this the better.

Mariam x

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