Sometimes it’s okay to feel sad and not pretend to feel anything else

Sometimes life can be hard, it can be really really tough. It can be ugly and even depressing at times. Some days it may feel like everything is on top of us. Some days it may feel like we are all alone in this world. Some days it may feel like everyone we know is getting exactly what they want in life, but here we are feeling more and more lost and confused about life. And when someone asks us ‘how we are?’ We lie and say ‘We’re fine’.

Sometimes we become so good at lying. I think we become so good at pretending and hiding our pain, we actually begin to believe our lies and believe that we are okay. But, sometimes pretending can hurt. It’s okay to be sad. And it’s even okay to admit you are sad.

I think we need to remember that sometimes it’s okay to feel like shit for no reason. It’s even okay to cry for no reason. The fact that you’re feeling at all makes you alive. So if anyone says ‘they never get sad’. They are either a liar or not truly living.

Our society today isn’t too keen on sadness, because sadness is seen as weak. It’s seen as failure and it’s seen as dark and scary. Who wants to be friends with or even talk to someone who is always sad?. People can’t deal with dark, scary or weird. People just want you to smile back and say ‘Yeah, I’m fine thanks. Everything’s great’. So they can go on with their lives and probably never think about you again.

So, sadness is rejected and happiness is what we all strive for. Our society is just not okay with sadness. In a way I think we are pressured to be happy. Our culture isn’t too keen on being honest about our pain. It feels like we are expected to always be happy. It’s impressed to us through magazine articles, posts and self-help books, all trying to teach us the ‘art of happiness’.

When we have a bad day, when things are going wrong and life throws pretty much everything at you. I think it’s okay to feel hurt, to feel sad and not pretend to feel anything else. I think sometimes we want people to know how we are feeling, we want people to recognise our pain. I think when these feelings are acknowledged it kinda helps.

I think it’s important to remember that sometimes we all get stressed out, sometimes we get screwed over, sometimes we lose the people we never imagined losing, sometimes we fail, sometimes we get lost, broken, scared and confused. And it’s okay to not be okay.

I think it’s about time we stop running away from our sadness. We need to stop covering it up. Stop being ashamed of it and start feeling it and facing it.

“You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.” – Jonathan Safran Foer.

Mariam x

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