It’s perfectly normal to not know who you are in your twenties.

It’s perfectly normal to not know who you are in your twenties.

I don’t know about you, but my twenties so far have felt like a constant race. A constant competition. You see, I’m a planner I like to have my life planned out in lists and timelines. But, recently life has thrown pretty much everything at me. When something goes wrong or my plans change, I feel like my brain gets confused and I don’t know how to react or handle it. It really stresses me out and I hate that.

When I was younger, I thought I would have my life together by the time I reached my twenties. I thought I would have my own apartment, be engaged and I thought I would know exactly who I was and what I wanted from this world. Right now, I feel more lost and confused than I have ever felt in my life. I’ve been lost for a while now.

I really don’t like the term ‘Adulting’. Being in your twenties means being immature and choosing fun over work, and also being a responsible adult who shows up to meetings twenty minutes early to look good for the manager. Being in your twenties honestly feel like you are trapped in the middle of two separate identities.

You know what? It’s perfectly normal to not know who you are in your twenties. When you are in your twenties A LOT changes. One of the biggest lessons that I’ve learnt these past few weeks is that no matter how hard you try, at some point you will always fail. You learn to accept setbacks, the rejections, the loss of people you once loved. You scroll through Instagram, Facebook and Twitter and you see the people you went to school and university with getting married, pregnant, buying their first homes and some are dead. It really is a scary time. You think everyone around you seems to know where they are heading in life and here you are having pasta for dinner fourth night in a row (no kidding, I have).

I feel like sometimes it’s so easy to forget that everyone has their own timeline in life. The world makes it so easy for us to sit and compare ourselves to other peoples photoshopped highlights that they post on social media. No one wants to talk about how long it took them to get there. No one wants to talk about the pain they went through, how hard they had to work for it everyday, how exhausting it was. No one wants to talk or post about their failures.

Your twenties are hard, and I think we forget this sometimes. It’s okay to be struggling. It’s perfectly normal to feel lost and confused. It’s okay to make mistakes. The truth is, you are not going to love everything you do and that’s okay. You’re still learning and figuring yourself out and that’s okay. You don’t have to know what you are doing in your twenties. This is our time to find ourselves. In fact, people in their late twenties, thirties and even forties don’t have their life together or know what they are doing with their lives. They’ve just become better at faking it.

PS. In case no one has told you today. You are awesome and you are doing just fine. You will figure it out. Maybe not now, but you will.

Mariam x

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