You won’t always be okay, and that’s okay.

I’ve been crying a lot recently, I’ve cried alone in my car this week more times than I can count. I’ve cried sat in my car in empty parking lots because I just could not face going home. I’ve cried parked in my driveway after the hardest day at work. There is some sort of comfort crying alone in my car.

I’m crying as I write this.. the tears are running down my cheeks and I am feeling every bit of my sadness.

“I’m sad”. And I’m not afraid to admit that I’m sad. How often do we actually admit to ourselves that we’re sad?. We say “I’m fine”. “I’m Okay”. “Don’t worry about it” to cover up how we are actually feeling.

I’m not okay and I haven’t been okay for a while. I’ve been sad for a very long time. I’m getting better. But, I’m not okay. I used to think that it’s not okay to feel that way. I became very good at pretending I was okay when in fact I wasn’t okay. Recently, I learned that it’s okay to break down and cry. It’s even okay to admit it to yourself and to the world that you are not okay.

Believe me, I know how easy it is to put up a front and pretend like everything is okay when it really isn’t. I know how easy it is to say “I’m okay” when in reality, you are trying your hardest to stop the tears from coming out of your eyes.

Crying doesn’t make you weak. It’s okay to cry. You are human, your pain is valid. No matter how strong you think you are, sometimes, you will have bad days and that’s okay. You are allowed to be sad. It’s okay to feel hurt. It’s okay to fall sometimes. What you are going through today, won’t last forever.

When you’ve lost a love that you thought would last forever, it’s okay to feel heartbroken. When you’ve lost a loved one and you feel like you can’t go on anymore, it’s okay to be angry, it’s okay to scream. I want you to know that it’s okay to cry, even when you think tears can’t fall down your face anymore. It’s okay to be angry at the life you still yet to figure out. It’s okay to be sad when thinking about your past. When life feels wrong, it’s okay to feel weak. Do not deny yourself from the realness of your emotions, learn how to be honest with your heart.

Cry, because it’s okay to feel sadness. The fact that you’re feeling at all makes you alive.

Mariam x.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.