When you are a twenty-something and feel like you’re failing

Remember when you were in high school and had those big expectations of life in your twenties. You pictured your twenties being the time when you finally had your life together? Same.

So far, my twenties have felt like a constant race. I feel like I’m running out of time. I’m looking at others my age and they are engaged, have a house, a car, are in a job they love and some of them are about to give birth to their third child. And me?. I’m struggling to pay my monthly car insurance and nowhere near any of the above.

Your twenties feel like a competition. You are constantly comparing yourself to those on social media and feeling like a failure because you haven’t achieved what others have.

Harry Potter drove a flying car, became the youngest Quidditch Seeker, killed a snake, won the Tri-wizard Tournament, taught and led Dumbledores army, hunted down and destroyed Voldemort’s Horcruxes and let’s not forget he defeated Lord Voldemort, all before he was 18. I kind of feel like a failure too now.

I feel like we put so much pressure on ourselves in our twenties, to be successful and to be happy. We think that our twenties are supposed to be the happiest years of our life and the most successful. I think our twenties are the most confusing and the hardest years of our life.

I think sometimes we forget that we all have our own timelines and everyone’s journey is different. It’s okay if you don’t have everything figured out yet. Not everyone knows what they want to do, some of us take longer than others to figure ourselves out and that’s okay. That doesn’t mean that we are failing and that doesn’t mean that those who we think have it all figured out, are happy and successful.

Yes, it’s okay if you are working a job you hate whilst you are applying for your dream job or working towards your dream career, getting up every day and living that same routine which makes you sad and miserable. But, remember what you are working towards. No, you are not failing, the way I see it as, you are just beginning.

So, smile to the people who are looking down on you. Face everything with determination and motivation. It isn’t going to be easy. I know. But, how do you think the people who made it to the top got there?

Mariam x

1 Comment

  1. February 28, 2019 / 1:19 pm

    I love this post and what you said in the beginning, about people having kids and buying their own houses while you’re trying to pay car insurance really hit home. It’s so weird for me to think about people my age having a family or getting married because I’m nowhere near ready for either. I still live at home, trying to pursue my dream career while working a job I hate.

    And I was having a shit morning so this was definitely a little bout of motivation I needed x

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