What 2019 has taught me so far (a little life update).

We are only four months in and I feel like 2019 has already taught me a lot. 2019 so far has been painful, hard, difficult and sometimes shitty. But, it has also been full of laughs, smiles and lots of small successes.

I’ve certainly made a lot of memories and met some incredible humans along the way. I’ve laughed a lot and I’ve cried more times than I can count. As much as some days made me feel like I wasn’t worthy of being alive, after everything, there have been times that made me feel alive.

I’m just about to finish my PGCE in exactly (i think) 7 weeks time. Training to become a teacher and balancing university assignments, lesson planning, your own personal life and a part-time job is more difficult and stressful than it sounds. Last week, I had my last ever teaching observation as a trainee teacher and I will never have to complete a trainee teachers’ lesson plan ever again. Thank Goodness.

In the last few weeks, I’ve also made some more progress on my very first children’s novel. So far this year, trying to find the time to sit down and write hasn’t been possible. I’ve also been stuck in writer’s block. So, I never forced myself to write. I’m just about getting my creativity back and I’m so happy about that. On the other hand, my blog has been getting a lot of views over the past few months and my stats are literally growing every month. I’ve been working very hard on my Instagram too and my engagement has been amazing. I’ve also just collaborated with a brand and I can’t wait to share that everyone.

Here are some of the things 2019 has taught me so far.

In a world where you can be anything, be kind.

You can change the world by being kind. You can change the world by being honest. In a world trying to make you believe that it’s okay to be an asshole, be nice. Some people have experienced indescribable pain, the death of a loved one, experienced heartbreak that has shaken them to their core and maybe at times, made them believe in nothing. No matter how life has treated you, it’s important to be kind. You really don’t know the story behind someone’s eyes and you don’t know how much your actions and words could be affecting them. It costs nothing to be a decent and kind human being.

I sometimes run on coffee instead of sleep.
Every morning, that first sip of coffee literally runs through my body and gives me life. I think the most cups of coffee that I’ve had in one day is probably nine. The past few months I’ve been spending my nights either lesson planning, writing, or doing a university assignment. Leaving me with three hours of sleep. So, I have basically been running on coffee. Also, I probably spend a good 30-40 % of my week in coffee shops (i have more than one).

A crush will only ever be a crush.
Having a crush is a weird thing to have in your twenties. Is it just me, or having a crush in your early adult years just sound silly?. As I scroll through Facebook, Twitter and my Instagram feed, “Alex is engaged”, “Laura is getting married” and “Jess is pregnant”. Thanks for the reminder, that I shall be forever alone. I’ve had a crush on a guy for some time, but, I’ve recently come to realise that maybe THAT is what it will always and only be ‘a crush’.

Sometimes, it’s okay to not be okay.
We live in a world where society tells us that we should be happy. But, the reality is that’s not always possible. It’s okay to admit you are hurting, broken, sad, or even confused about life itself. It’s okay to cry, it’s okay to let it all out. By pretending everything is okay when in fact it really isn’t, does not solve all your problems. If you are having a bad day and you feel the need to cry, let out all the anger, sadness, anxiety and stress.

That pretty much sums my life and 2019 so far.

Mariam.

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