To the people we crush on


This is just a one letter word that I am never able to say.

How are you?

These are three words that I never have the courage to ask you. Three words that are the beginning of a conversation. But, I’m scared to let them leave my mouth. The fear of rejection. The fear of embarrassing myself. The fear of looking like a complete utter idiot.

I don’t think your eyes will come across to read this letter that I’m writing to you. But, I hope that you do. I would never give or send you this letter personally, but I’m going to write it anyway.
The first time I saw you, you were sat near me on my commute home from work. You were reading a book. And I kept staring at you, our eyes met and I thought what could possibly be running through your head. You had those eyes that seemed tired, you might have had a hard day at work, but I liked them anyway.

I think about you a lot, I wonder if you like coffee, do you read a lot of books. I’ve read some of your poems which I absolutely loved. I wonder if you write too. I write about you a lot, I wish you’d know and find that flattering. Then a part of me thinks you would be weirded and creeped out.

I have waited for more than a year, to have enough courage to talk to you, I’ve prayed for a miracle that you will one day be the one that comes to me. Maybe, Maybe I will always be that girl who wanted a chance to get to know you but wasn’t brave enough to move closer. But, a part of me will always hope that fate brings us to meet one day. Maybe ill have the guts to say ‘hi’ And maybe you will say ‘hi’ back. Which will eventually lead us to become ‘friends’. Or maybe, someone else has stolen your heart. So, if this is true. Then I’m sorry.

I have come to hate this five letter word. ‘crush.’ It makes me cringe. A crush is something we never really do anything about. We keep it to ourselves as long as possible till its too late. Our crushes are our little secrets, that we only keep to ourselves.

PS. I pray that you live a happy life, I wish you all the happiness and success in the world. I hope you get everything that you want in life. You totally deserve it.
Mariam x