Stop living your life according to a timeline

We live in a world dominated by technology and social media, where we compare ourselves to others. We end up feeling like failures because we haven’t achieved or lived up to the standards of our friends or acquaintances. It can be hard when everyone is posting pictures of all the incredible things that they are doing with their lives. Like travelling, getting married, having kids and landing their dream jobs. Me? I’ve just graduated and that is my biggest achievement so far.

You see, I’m a planner, I like to have my life planned out in lists, ideas, and timelines. I thought by the time I’m 25 I would have my career sorted, be married and be financially stable (who was I kidding). I’m 23 and I am nowhere near to having my life going in that direction of the timeline.

I feel like today, we live in a world where we have to do what our society expects us to do during a certain time, or when we reach a certain age. It’s like we believe that we have to own certain things or behave in a specific way for society to accept us.

I went to visit a friend the other day who is planning on getting married this year, she asked about me and when I will be getting married. Well..

Me: “I don’t have my life together yet, I need to sort out myself and my career before I even think about that. Maybe when I’m 27 or even later.”

Her: “that’s too late, everyone is getting married in their early twenties, I want to just earn money, get married and become a mom.”

Me: (in my head) “ARE YOU BEING FUCKING SERIOUS?”

Me: “I just want to get my career sorted first, then I will think about the rest of my life. I want to be financially stable and happy before I get married. I’m not really thinking about that right now.”

Well, guys, life is NOT a straight line. There is no set timeline of milestones. It’s okay if you don’t graduate from university at the age of 21, get married really young, land your dream job after graduation, make loads of money, all by a certain age. I think it’s important to remember that it’s okay if you’re not married by 25 or even happy for that matter. The world isn’t going to condemn you. It’s okay to take time to figure yourself out. You are allowed time, and I think sometimes we forget that. It’s okay to take a step back for a while, take time as long you need to get back on your feet. It’s even okay to take a deep breath, it’s okay to take a long rest.

We are all different, we are all unique, we all are living our own lives according to our own timelines. Yes, some people will reach a certain milestone before we do but, that certainly doesn’t mean that we have failed or we will never reach that milestone. And there will also be certain milestones that we reach first before others do. And that’s okay.

No one should ever tell you that you should be married by a certain age or that you should be in a secure job right now or be financially stable, just because you have graduated. Life certainly has a way of surprising us, it will amuse us with situations that we may be nowhere near ready for. Whereas, sometimes they may be too much for us to handle and sometimes they might just be too beautiful for us to forget.

I think we need to learn to slow down, we need to stop running. I think we should stop making timelines of our lives and enjoy the lessons that life is teaching us right now. It’s okay to have a list and even ideas because creating and making those goals is so so important. But, DITCH THAT TIMELINE.

Mariam x